Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Tutorial Tuesday: How to Study Abroad

Studying abroad is the paramount over-privileged college student experience.  It's when young 20 somethings get to feel like they are part of another culture, when in reality they are on prolonged vacation where everyone knows they are extremely American and they occasionally sight see (read: walk around a museum for 20 minutes then go get a kebab and beer at an outdoor restaurant and snap photos, the most artistic of which will promptly become their new profile picture).  Basically, if you don't study abroad, be prepared to be less stupid, less cool, and less pretentious than all your friends who have.

I've been here one week and I'm practically Italian, as you can clearly see.

Here's how to take full advantage of your study abroad experience, and thus reach your full potential as biggest cultural douche.

Experience the Night Life
This mostly consists of walking around in a huge group, screaming in English and annoying all the locals.  Go to clubs that have overpriced deals that make you think it's worth it.  Post blurry pictures of all your friends having so much fun.  It's basically just like what you do at school, except you're in another country so it's way cooler by default.

"This club was pure insanityyyy."
Make a Dramatic Change
Now that you've gone on a plane trip and seen a few sights around your host city, you've obviously experienced the European philosophy of life.  So naturally you have come to realize that America is much too fast-paced and concerned with tangible things like money and making a living.  To represent your new laid back outlook on life, get a nose piercing, cut off your hair into a Euro-pixie cut, or start wearing a lot of mismatched scarves.

Write a Blog
This enables your friends back home can see how cultured you're becoming (I'm literally doing it right here, you see?).  Gradually you'll forget about keeping up with the blog, but remember to post pictures of the Big Ben, Eiffel Tower, or your "totally sketch but economic" hostel on occasion.  Pictures of the exotic wines and beers you taste on the reg help as well.  Remember to title the posts in the language of whatever country you're studying in so people get the feeling you're bilingual.  It's called Google Translate, and it's how I passed two (going on three) semesters of Italian.  Also it's how I know bad words in four other languages.  Also I'm eleven years old.

"I loved the beer in Germany, but don't worry Mom and Dad, I was responsible and even learned what hops is!"
People say traveling in Europe is so cheap.  I disagree, so this is not something I'll personally be partaking in to a large degree, but remember to take long weekends in Paris, Amsterdam, or Berlin.  Seeing as you will never be able to soak up anything about those cities in 3 days and 2 nights, it's not really about learning the city but more so about taking harried pictures of major landmarks before it's time to hit the next discoteca then head home for another week of difficult classes like Cultural Studies and British Film.  Don't forget to change your Facebook status (e.g. Heading to Ibiza for the weekend, nbd!).

Run Out of Money
If you're not completely broke by the end of the trip, you clearly didn't spend enough money on crepes and beer.  Call up Dad and ask him for enough money to spot you an extra two weeks so you can travel more and truly find yourself.

That's essentially how it's done, from what I can tell.  To recap: make it very obvious you're in a foreign country, both to the natives of that country and to your friends at home.

"If you ever get the chance to go to Paris, I totally recommend it because I was there for 2 days and am an expert now."

1 comment:

  1. Legit so trueee! Live it up in italia. Check out the fanciest mcdonalds in the world by the spanish steps in rome. #classy