Friday, May 4, 2012

Annoying People Friday: Weirdos in Your Classes

As the semester dwindles to a close, let's take a few moments to celebrate not having to be in class with a bunch of annoying people anymore.

The Mom
She's that old[er] lady who sits in the front of class and still uses a flip phone.  When no one else gets your professor's cultural references from the '70s, The Mom will always be there with a chuckle, partially because the reference was funny, partially because you don't get it and she knows it, and partially because she's so old she's going crazy.

And you know she knows all the words to the alma mater, whereas I don't even know what an alma mater is.

The Suck-Up
I'll be the first to admit this is me.  I'm well aware everyone in my classes hates me a) because I never shut up and b) my only goal is to be best friends with my professor.  The suck-up asks about the professor's family before class, tells him to have a good weekend and compliments him on his new haircut before you even realized he had hair.  Although suck-ups will always get a grade cushion (unless the prof sees through their crap) rest assured that while the professor doesn't know your name, at least your classmates will let you copy their homework because they don't DESPISE YOU.

The College Athlete
College athletes think they can do whatever they want, believe me.  I worked as an athletic tutor one time and had to quit because I got asked to write their papers for them so many times.  This football/basketball/shuffleboard player sits in the back of the room with his ginormous headphones on, very obviously not paying attention, and then blatantly copies your test Scantron.  The honor code does not apply to them, nor does a late policy.

The Kid Who Cares
I know what you're thinking, Suck-Up 2.0 but you'd be wrong.  The difference here is that the Kid Who Cares actually cares, whereas the Suck-Up has merely learned the system and is massaging it to their advantage.  The Kid Who Cares asks convoluted questions, usually at the end of class, and messes up the curve.

The Smelly Guy Next to You
His backpack is enormous, and he runs to class somehow always sweaty and sits next to you.  Every.  Time.  I don't know what he is carrying in there or why he's always in a rush, or why he always sits next to you, but the only way to deal with it is to wear nose plugs and avoid eye contact.

But alas, we have 3 whole months of tanning and texting upon us, and hopefully The Mom graduated this year so you will never see her again.  HAGS!

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