Friday, May 25, 2012

Annoying People Friday: Know-It-Alls

You know who I hate?  Pretty much everyone, but especially people who think they know everything.  And they're everywhere, with their stupid knowledge-filled heads and loud mouths and superior attitudes.  There's one in every crowd, clinging to every word that is spoken just waiting to pounce on something that's wrong.

My best guess is that it's an insecurity issue that makes these people think they need to correct everyone all the time.  Maybe they failed the third grade or got a 2 on the AP English exam in high school, who knows.  Either way, if you at all misspeak or make an incorrect statement about anything -- I mean anything, from the direction of the restaurant you're trying to find or the color you consider your own hair to be -- they will let you know it.  Just to be clear, you are always wrong, and they are always right, and your hair is dirty blonde not sandy brown.  They would know, and yes they will crawl as far as possible up your butthole about it.

What I wonder is if it gets tiring being better and smarter than everyone else?  I'm sure it must be a real drain on their intellect hanging out with who they view as complete dunces all the time.  I mean, I would get really sick of having to tell everyone they're wrong constantly.  But I guess it is their duty as the smartest member of any group of friends and acquaintances ever.

Unfortunately for me, it seems as though I'll forever be surrounded by know-it-alls, in all facets of my life.  How do I deal with it?  It really depends on my mood.  Sometimes it's funny to argue with them, especially because coincidentally, know-it-alls never seem to pick up on sarcasm.  Or maybe it's just that they are so intent on proving their superiority that they are blind to my blatantly rude and offensive comments.  (Either way, it's pretty funny what you can get away with.)  If I've had a long day on the other hand, I'll usually just ignore them, or walk behind them and try to trip them.

As much as I hate know-it-alls, I do have a small corner of my heart that feels sympathetic toward them.  Who's going to marry these people?  Who would want to spend the rest of their lives having every statement they make be amended?  Maybe equally annoying know-it-alls, or really dumb people who truly believe they're wrong.  Either way, god be with both of them, and hopefully I won't be invited to the wedding because I'll probably wear the wrong length dress.

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