Saturday, October 8, 2011

On being a lesbian

The other night my roommates and I were hanging around in our living room, discussing typical topics like how Adele probably has our past relationships in mind when she writes her songs, all-time funniest baby videos, and how we’re pretty sure we’re not lesbians.  In all seriousness, I am fairly certain I’m not a lesbian, at this point in my life.  I have no problem with lesbians and I consider myself a pretty open person: I try not to block off opportunities, like the possibility (okay, hope) that someday I will encounter a spirit and/or ghost.  But that’s a different post. 

So, a couple summers ago I thought about it, brainstormed possibilities, and came to the conclusion that I just don’t really like girls.  I told my parents this one night at dinner, because that’s normal.  Now my dad is a very nice man.  I think he’s hilarious in that “dad sense of humor” way (I also believe I get my sense of humor from him…which means I’m already prepared to be the dad I know I can be one day), but he’s pretty conservative.  Who can blame him though, he’s an older white guy and owns his own business (we don’t say the word “Obama” or “taxes” at the dinner table…but “poop” is totally fine).  Anyway, I suppose my proclamation caught him off guard and since then he’s convinced I’m living in denial and that I am, in fact, a lesbian. 

My parents get four season tickets to Virginia Tech football games and they LIVE for it.  My mom plans a tailgate themed around the mascot of the opposing team and my dad laminates the rosters for both teams.  I asked them to save a ticket for me for the UNC game in November, to which my dad asked if I wanted the fourth ticket so I could bring “a friend.”  My aforementioned six friends are pretty much all biddies and probably think a touchback is when you’re playing tag and you tag back really quick after being tagged “it.”  Nah, there’s no way they want to go with me.  So I sarcastically responded, “Yeah, I’ll bring my boyfriend,” to which my dad says, “Oh, really?  What’s her name?”  THANKS DAD.

But this week I realized I can use this to my advantage: Operation Convince My Dad I Have a Serious Girlfriend is about to commence.  I’ll keep you posted (ha, a little blog joke…blog POST…eh hehh…)

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