Guest Post: Why Halloween Sucks

Halloween. Such a pointless holiday. Yeah, you get free candy, but does my fat ass need that candy and all that temptation? No. All that will get me is much needed extra time at the gym, so don’t shove your big 200 piece candy bags in my face, Walmart. Also now that I’m in college, Halloween has set a whole new standard of sluttiness. I don’t know, there’s probably plenty of people who enjoy girls wearing basically nothing. But not me. With my right as a human being, there are just some things I shouldn’t be forced to see, ya know. And also there is just too much work involved in Halloween. I don’t want to have to plan my costume, and then spend money on it or take the time to actually make it. I’d rather lay around and eat that 200 piece bag of candy and call it a night. Okay, so maybe I’m just a scrooge about halloween. But I will admit that I do love the halloween costumes for dogs though, they always make me laugh and who wouldn’t want to dress their dog up as a hot dog, a wall mount, or an ice cream sundae?

So forget halloween…give me two Christmases instead.

"ButMomcandymakesmesleepIpromiseMomMomMompleeaaaase?"

*Post by Alix Gore, the ghoulest girl I know.