More Money More Biddies

Not to beat a dead horse, but I'M POOR.  Also, what a weird saying.  Anyway, in the spirit of having no money I usually live vicariously through other people's purchases, mostly by eyeing their ice cream and licking my lips creepily until they offer me a bite (it just so happens that one bite for them means five for me...I go by the metric system, or something...).

One of the biggest traits of a biddie is having too much money given to her by her parents, and seeing as I'm constantly surrounded by them I've seen the kind of things on which they spend their money.  I'm all for dropping $200 on Bare Minerals or taking full advantage of the Semi-Annual sale because that stuff is necessary for everyday life.  But what happens when biddies have too much money?


They buy weird accessories for their cars, like eyelashes or disco balls.

And things like rhinestone passport covers or cases with bunny ears for their iPhones.

They buy over-priced advice from people whose professions shouldn't actually be professions, like travel agents or wedding planners (that's what the Internet and Pinterest is for).  Also buying massages?  Get a boyfriend, duh.

They purchase DVDs of TV series that never should have completed a season in the first place, like Newlyweds or Newport Beach (but don't get me wrong, I swear by both those shows).  They buy cute baby clothes, when no one they know owns a baby.  And why waste money on one of those clips that connects your bra straps in the back?  Isn't that what zip ties are for?

I know I'm not one to judge, but you should know I always do.  As much as I angrily envy their ability to buy such frivolities, I hope that one day I have a rich biddie roommate to buy cute decorative touches for our house, like antique wooden signs that let one know that the kitchen is where love is baked or knife holders with my initials on it.  One day...