Monday, March 5, 2012

Spring Make it or Break It

Florida here we come!!!!!!
I know all the biddies are amped for spring break, because the only bathing suits left in Target are XXL bikinis and maternity tankinis.  But remember, while SB2K12 is all fun and games, there are a few things to keep in mind...
  1. Whatever happens in Cancun is probably going to end up on the internet.
  2. Travel in packs (but I know biddies don't have any problems with this).
  3. Hydrate or die.
  4. Avoid actually swimming in the ocean because it is basically a giant swimming pool of death. You will get caught in a riptide or worse, get stung by a jelly fish, and we all know that leads to urine on your body.
  5. Wear sunscreen, or don't so I can laugh at you later.
  6. If you went out of the country, keep that to yourself.  Nobody wants to hear about it, ya rich bitch.
  7. If you're on a cruise, then there's really no salvaging that spring break trip.  Seriously, you're in a confined location with about a thousand people, some of who are sick, and probably the only entertainment is a fire-juggler and some elderly drunk people.  Then, you're allowed off the boat for an allotted amount of time but you have to be back by curfew like you're on a middle school field trip.  No thanks.  (Note: I've never been on a cruise.)
  8. Don't "mingle" with the locals (by "mingle" I mean "flirt with").  It's creepy.
  9. Trash talk everyone you meet from other colleges.
  10. But the biggest thing to remember is to have fun in the sun and spend all your parents' money, because soon you're going to graduate and you'll never have a spring break again.  Bleak, right?

Go biddie or go home!

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