Friday, December 9, 2011

Annoying People Friday: Pretentious People

I’m majoring in media arts and design and minoring in studio art, and while I’m happy with these choices because neither department has Friday classes, both fields seem to attract an overwhelming amount of douches. I spend my days surrounded by pretentious people, meaning I roll my eyes and scoff a much higher percentage of the time than normal people do. But not all pretentious people are the same.

Emo Artist

First, you have emo artists. While I do see the usefulness of critiques, these are the people that take it way too far. They try to divulge meaning out of a brown paper bag, saying that it represents man’s inhumanity and their ultimate downfall. Okay, crackpot. And you should HEAR some of the people in my art class when they explain their work. If you want to know about any of my classmates’ strained relationships with their mothers, I could probably tell you more than you wanted to know. I saw a girl cry once while she was presenting. Tie it up, it is 10am on a Monday and you’re making me really uncomfortable.

I know those Ray-Bans ain’t prescription and that scarf is from Target, not a boutique that only you know about, so cut the crap. Hipsters LOVE class discussions because it means they can talk about themselves and how things make them feel, which everybody loves but hipsters think they're emotions are unique and their opinions are groundbreaking. Well guess what, hipsters? I'm here to actually learn, not listen to why you think Bing is the up-and-coming search engine and why Google is actually collapsing, if it hasn't already. You're stupid, and everyone knows Google owns the world. However, their love of conspiracy theories keeps them entertaining and is their only redeeming quality.

The Ones That Don't Even Care
These are the pretentious people that never say anything to make you mad, either because they're asleep in the back of the room or strolling in to class 30 minutes late...casual. I once had a kid saunter in to one of my classes FIFTEEN minutes before it ended. I mean, whatever, I don't care if you go to class or if you show up at all but seriously at that point why bother? These people suck the most when they don't do any of the work but somehow do better at everything than your butt-busting self.

I suppose I'm being too harsh on these people though, because reading back on this post I realize how pretentious I sound, which is where the irony is.  So I guess the category I fit in is The Asshole, the person that thinks they are above everyone else, scoffs and scowls during class, and then goes home to write what they assume to be a witty blog about assholes when they, are in fact, the asshole.  Long hair don't care.