About halfway through the summer we had to take our campers on a backpacking trip. They would ask me how far we had walked, and I would say “about three miles.” EVERY TIME. I have no idea how long a mile is, besides that it’s five thousand something feet which also has no relevant meaning to me. But because I’m a few years older and said everything with a serious face they believed me, no questions asked.
So when people say that high school or college didn’t prepare them for the real world because all they learned to do is bullshit, I say “exactly!” That’s the point. I’m fully prepared to BS my way through the rest of my life, pretending like I know what I’m doing.
A lot of my peers, including myself, have a pretty vague idea of what we want to do with the rest of our lives. I like to tell people I want to be a war-coverage journalist, but let’s be serious. I am a biddie, and although I do have a weird attraction to army guys there is NO WAY I am about to head into a war zone. And let me be a feminazi for a hot minute here and say that more often than not, women have to choose between a family and having a career to which they can devote their full potential. And yes, while I have considered trying to be the next Chelsea Handler, the truth is I will probably write for a small newspaper part-time and have four kids. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally okay with that. It just means that I have to give up a lot of other dreams of mine, like being a rap hype man, gypsie, or a Jeopardy contestant trainer. So my kids better freaking appreciate my sacrifice. :)